Commander Single-Handedly Defeats ISIS With Improved Punctuation



In an email distributed to airmen across the globe, an Air Force Operations Group Commander, working through his chief emissary, launched an innovative strategy that resulted in the instant surrender of the world’s premier terrorist network.

See the email for yourself. Polarized UV protection recommended.


Upon publication of the message, ISIS fighters laid down their arms and agreed immediately to a cessation of hostilities, theorizing that any further resistance would be suicidal.

ISIS chief spokesman Laszlo-al-Holyfeld, reached for comment, stated “we were only sightly concerned when Trump made American great again, but we know there is no way to defeat officers with no white space on their OPRs.”

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